My sister Faith called and she was talking about the way her mother would talk to her, and I'm thinking how would I have survived with that kind of upbringing? It's all pretty straightforward. I thought I had a girl. At one point toward the end of the party, as Sue stood nearby, Marti started talking about the room that she had grown up in in the Miller household. So that that convinced you. Oh, that's a funny question, I. I really. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors. And he let Marty know that he still loved her. Oh, really good for us. On a summer day in 1951, two baby girls were born in a hospital in small-town Wisconsin. One thing Mrs. Miller doesn't regret is raising Marty. There are birthdays and graduations and figuring out where to spend holidays. And when Bob found out about Marti, found out that she was his biological sister, he called her right away in California. Yeah. We love you, Martha Jane-- I'm sorry. The other mother, Kay MacDonald, had no idea the two fathers in this story were not interviewed. She could have been my aunt or my mother talking on the phone. I mean, the my kids are all serious about their life yet, no, they're more like I am before when I'd asked you if you thought it was God's will. So you look like her, too? Having the two of them so near each other was a little awkward. Stereo. And the other thing was that he really thought, what difference does it make? She was close to her mother. Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder Mr. Torey Malatia. She figured if she could simply get Kate a look at Marti Caywood figure things out, the evening just ended up being kind of baffling for everyone involved. And I was super anxious to to meet her and in person. Being in the family I locked out, I lucked out. So then you had to go through the register to get to the bathroom. She also had an older brother, Bob, named after their dad. If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. And that was odd, very odd. One of the mothers realized the mistake but chose to keep quiet. Kay was angry that Mrs. Miller hadn't corrected things back in 1951, that Mrs. Miller had hijacked her life in this way. And I said, would you have believed me? I don't think that they ever came to watch me cheer in a game. Here is how Mrs. Miller explained that in the letter. Perfectly clear that, you know, I was a mcdonnel for the longest time, whenever she would write to me, she would include MacDonald in my name. Tact isn't her strong suit. Then when Ruth was about 16, her older sister Faith came home from a trip on a Mississippi River boat and told Ruth she'd seen Sue McDonald on the boat, and that she looked an awful lot like them. She says, I was pregnant and you are my child. Well, my sisters had this crazy thing going on when Faith was a teenager. This American Life: Switched at Birth Ep. Creator/showrunner Lizzy Weiss, director Jeff Byrd and actress Bianca Bethune discuss the intense debates on set, the scene . I was surprised that nobody really ever told us the booms, the teen or the Lancs, the Hasan's. I remember my friend said to me, you must be adopted because you do not look at all like your parents. Switched At Birth is a fairly good show with a great concept that has been fairly well executed but there is just something that makes me not love this show. When I first talked to Mrs. Miller about what had happened when Marty was born, she told me pretty much the same story. Reverend Miller had made many visits to Dr. Deslack's wife when she was sick and now Dr. Deslack refused to charge the Millers for anything. Our program was produced today by Jane Marie and myself, our staff for today's show includes Alex Blumberg, Sarah Koenig, Seth Lind, Lisa Pollak, Robin Semion. In 1994, Mary Miller wrote letters to Sue and Marti, confessing the secret she'd kept for 43 years: The daughters had been switched at birth and raised by the wrong families. But there's no question things have gotten better between the two girls and their moms. This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange. So a bunch of people from the Evangelical Church now knew who Kay McDonald was and who Sue was, and realized that this was the girl Mrs. Miller believed to be her own. [1] So he did know it too. (Paperback) by Janice Kay Johnson (Goodreads Author) Miss Miller's husband, the Reverend Norbert Miller, was an evangelical preacher devoted to the church, and they were a bookish, serious bunch. So then she found out she had all of these, um, brothers and sisters and the phone calls were fewer. Her name's also Sue. Well, there was no DNA testing back then or anything else. It's a little late. Like Bob and Kay, she would circle their names and say, these are your parents. There were a few years there, where every chance my mother got, she made it perfectly clear that I was a McDonald. It's this American Life. Kay was a Methodist and the Millers were evangelicals. She didn't question that. Mr. McDonald had a bad heart and she didn't know what the stress would do to him. 7/13 - This is the story of two baby girls who were given to the wrong mothers. This is a videotape of that first meeting. After dinner, she sat down and told them about Mrs. Miller's letter, told them point-blank she wasn't their child. Marti was also married, also had three kids. The infants were accidentally switched, and went home with the wrong families. But he didn't realize what affect that would have on everybody to make a decision like that. Martha excelled in music, was a great cheerleader at school, very popular and a blonde, our other children had dark hair. Our staff for today's show includes Alex Blumberg, Sarah Koenig, Seth Lind, Lisa Pollak, Robin Semien, Alissa Shipp, Matt Tierney, Nancy Updike, and Diane Wu. This is my brother. And I am 61 years old. Mr. Miller died in 2000. And that no one around. I mean, that my kids are all so serious about their life. All the girls were in the same room. That was enough. And I he said, why wouldn't you have told me that? His heart was elsewhere. And I was super anxious to meet her in person. When I hear this episode now, what hits me honestly is how cunningly structured thing is where where you hear about the mom from all these other people before you ever hear from her and then how your picture of her changes once you actually hear her. My brother and Marti are just thick as thieves, you know, it seems like. He finally did. So I passed it off. I was sure then that there had been a mix up. I was a serious person. And you can see, they're just having so much fun and laughing together and just dancing away. The sickness, she said, lasted for six or seven months. Mrs. Miller's most ambitious scheme happened after the girls graduated from high school when they were about to be 18. The Millers didn't have much money and they might not have been able to afford the health care otherwise. Marti considered whether she should go. No, I didn't. mac miller faces indie exclusive. Marty wrote a letter to Kay and Bob McDonald, her biological parents. And this was a bad decision, but he didn't realize what effect that can make. Finally, Sue handed over all the letters that she hadn't sent them in the past month, letters telling them how much she loved them and how much she wanted to stay their daughter. He thought she really dreamed this up in her head and. She wrote letters to her parents, but didn't send them. Here she is. That wasn't something that they would have done because athletics was really not a value to them at all. A child is a child. It was a different life. The nurses brought her the same baby girl. Music help from Jessica Hopper. It is hosted by Ira Glass, produced in collaboration with Chicago Public Media, delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange, and has won all of the major broadcasting awards. She's also religious, like Sue, but that's pretty much where it ends. Mrs. Miller gave her a noncommittal answer, saying that once upon a time they thought that maybe, perhaps might have. And you looked so much like Carol. And I was going back to my mother's house. Encephalitis means inflammation of the brain. And I really haven't, because there's no point. Of course, the dead time for doing that. She says there's Sue walking down the center aisle. I guess you can't understand. She said, well, if you were to find out that that these parents that you have are not your parents and the other family doesn't want to have anything to do with you, how are you going to feel? You're still our kid and I'm glad we had you. And Susan always had said to me, Mom, why didn't you have any more children after I was born? Well, why don't we just ask Mom and Dad about this. And and of course, I was very busy because I was chairperson and I had so many other things to do. Seven kids in all. When I weighed the baby, she weighed two and 1/2 pounds less than her birth weight. Bay grew up in a wealthy family with two parents and a brother. Wow, wow. By the time she was well, fixing the baby switch problem was that much harder. Johnny Dodd Published on April 13, 2022 01:15 PM One afternoon in the summer of 2019, Tina Ennis realized her life would never be the same again as she sat in a diner near her home in Hobart,. When I weighed the baby, she weighed two and a half pounds less than her birth weight. Reverend Miller had made many visits to Dr. Dislocates wife when she was sick, and now Dr. Deathlok refused to charge the Millers for anything. Switched at Birth: Created by Lizzy Weiss. The other problem for Marty was how to approach the McDonald's for biological parents. That is the kind of news nobody ever wants to hear. I only let myself think about it one time. And as that baby Sue grew up, the one thing that puzzled Kaye was that Mrs. Miller, whom she knew only vaguely from church, seemed so interested in Sue. It exploded. You know, I would I was just like, wow, you know, wow. "Dear Sue, I'm writing you this short note to officially give you my welcome to this Miller family and relationship.". And I said, heavens, no. That's sort of spooked Marty, so she left it alone. So she said, unless there's a real reason that you need to know, she said, I don't recommend that you dig into it. After dinner, she sat down and told them about Mrs. Miller's letter, told them point blank she wasn't their child. She worried her mother might reject her. I think you know that you will always be our daughter. Florida Woman Who Was Switched at Birth Opens Up About Her Life Post-Scandal: 'I Couldn't Handle the Resentment' In 1989, Kimberly Mays became a media sensation when genetic tests revealed. So we all we never said anything about it. In a pretty lighthearted household, she was nervous, studious, serious. Kay McDonald is still tight with Sue, the daughter she raised, but she's also much closer with Marti. And I can't tell you how hard it was, but it was hard on me all along. My mother didn't have enough milk for me. And the purpose of this letter is that Mrs. Miller is breaking the news-- 43 years after the fact-- to Martha and Sue that she took the wrong baby home from the hospital, that Martha and Sue were switched at birth, that she's not Martha's biological mom, she's Sue's. And until that time, we just talked all the time. And before he starts, just to help you keep everybody straight in this story, a quick overview of the two families. She's part of that odd family. If you're ever curious as to what they were, I would be very willing to fill you in. This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange. I I think it's not right to do that, you know. She grew up with Sue, after all, and she's not actually related to her or to her kids. I was sure then that there had been a mix-up. Incredibly, when Marty was 21 years old, someone actually told her that she might not be a Miller, one of her older sisters, Ruth, came to visit with her husband, Rudy. Yes, I told her, I think we have the wrong baby. But it just brought up feelings that feel crummy again. Our senior producer for this episode is Julie Snyder, music from Jessica Hopper. And he said, well, I wouldn't disgrace the doctor by telling him he gave us the wrong baby. So that was that. Mrs. Miller says she worries for Marty and Sue about whether they'll ever truly get along. It was the four women at the center of all this. And both Marty and Sue worry that the families that always thought were theirs and still want to keep them and both mothers and daughters each had to figure it out on their own. I wanted him to agree with me. And if that weren't bad enough that lots of people in your town, people around you knew years before you did. In the show, one teen from a wealthy family discovers that. My sister Faith called. And I was just horrified. My name is Bob McDonald. But that's all she said. Your service title . The five girls shared one bedroom. It was a different way of living, one that she admires. They were nice enough when she spoke to them on the phone, but they weren't exactly welcoming her into the family. Pudd'nhead Wilson. You know, to run a big radio station was not always the dream job that he wanted. Now that the big family questions are mostly worked out, one of the toughest things both Marti and Sue have to deal with is logistical. Well, you know, there was no DNA testing back then or anything else. 43:33. One of them was Darlene Wolfgram. This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago . And as that baby, Sue, grew up, the one thing that puzzled Kay was that Mrs. Miller, whom she knew only vaguely from church, seemed so interested in Sue. This brings us to Marty, the other baby in this baby switch, before she found out the truth about who her mother really was, Bardes life wasn't all that different from Seus already was also married, also had three kids. They just didn't talk about these kinds of things. And so that's why I started sending them a copy of our Christmas letter. No, no, no. Back to the hospital for several days and despair for my life. He wants people to know Jesus Christ and that they would be saved. A month and a half later, she wrote the letter. First, she wanted to be absolutely sure it was true. Actually, my mother wanted to go to court and have my name legally changed back to Sue McDonald and have Sue's name changed. Special thanks to Sheri Weaver, JRA Nelson and Gregg Williams. Jun, 05, 2022 And he did, in fact, say some hurtful things. The other daughter in this baby, Squidge Sue, who was born to Mrs. Miller, the one writing the letter but raised by Kay McDonnell. The church was the center of their lives. But overall, the Millers seem giddy that their daughter has finally come home. And when Mrs. Miller finally let everybody know the truth, long after both girls were grown up with children of their own, it was disruptive. Yeah, whatever. Because it was always just a rumor. Does the thought ever cross your mind? Starring: Katie LeclercVanessa MaranoConstance Marie. That is the kind of news nobody ever wants to hear. raul peralez san jose democrat or republican. And I wanted to be a cheerleader, you know, I didn't get picked. Switched at Birth ended its five-season run on Tuesday with an eventful 90-minute farewell. And I really didn't know anything about the McDonalds. In fact, it was the exact opposite. But in the end, she made the trip because she's a Miller and so is Sue and she's a McDonald and so is Sue. But then Mrs. Miller told me more her side of this story. When Sue got married, for instance, the Millers gave her a trivett Norbert had made the card was signed from your other possible parents. I really only thought about that one time. She. Occasionally, she'd break down and cry. And as you heard in the letter, one thing that makes this whole thing even stranger is that the two couples knew each other. There were also some definite deficits. I really only thought about that one time, I only let myself think about it one time, it was actually right after I met them and I was going back to my my mother's house. And. I just couldn't believe it. And the other thing was that he really thought, what difference does it make a child is a child. So now we are both aware of what happened 43 years ago. It's pretty rare that Marty and Sue actually meet face to face once every few years, they get together for a large family gathering a wedding, a graduation, a funeral. Just out of curiosity, what was your room like? People were definitely aware whenever both women were in the same room. She was working for a group of pediatricians, which included a genetic counselor. And he did. The Millers wanted to incorporate her family into our family as quickly as they could. And so she took one of the programs from it and she mailed it to me. All Votes Add Books To This List. He's across the border. The National Association of the Deaf (NAD) is excited to share the remarkable news of an all American Sign Language episode to happen on Monday, March 4th on mainstream television! Sue dismissed it as part of the whole sister thing, which she also thought was kind of weird. Thanks, and Jesus lead you in this time. And I was always asking anyone who might have seen her. I just couldn't do it. And as you heard in the letter, one thing that makes this whole thing even stranger is that the two couples knew each other. And so I don't think that was too well received. And we think so much alike. Yes, definitely, at that point. They were easygoing quick to laugh and joke around. And here I am, you know, it's like I'm a teenager again and nobody dances with me. In the episode, the students at Carlton School for the Deaf protest to keep their school open. How did you feel when he said this was God's will? I was just horrified and and he didn't tell me ahead of time, it just came out with it. Switched at Birth is about two teen girls and their families . Rudy had a couple of beers. First, she wanted to be absolutely sure it was true. Our senior producer for this episode is Julie Snyder. (26 minutes). At just 20, Rita knew what she was in for. So I never will probably understand why. And Marti refused to believe it at that point. Bob is four and a half years older than Sue, a sweet, jovial guy who never got along with his broody little sister. If I had as strong a feeling as she did that I had the wrong baby, I would have pursued it. And she said, oh, no, no. The counselor asked her what the McDonalds knew about all this. Coming up, what it's like to be a mom and to learn at the age of 69 that your only daughter isn't actually your daughter at all, and, if that weren't bad enough, that lots of people in your town, people around you, knew years before you did. Maybe because some of the Miller girls had suspected that she was their sister for decades and because Mrs. Miller always knew the truth, Sue was being embraced completely by the Miller clan. Since we first broadcast this story in 2008, the mom who knew about the baby switch at the time, Mary Kay Miller, has died. It was the first time I'd seen them talk to each other. 'Switched At Birth' Makes TV History Feb 19, 2013, 04:39 PM EST "Switched At Birth" will air an episode told entirely in American Sign Language (ASL) on Monday, March 4 at 8 p.m. on ABC Family. And then after I knew that I had been switched and that I had different genes, and my parents kept talking about these people that were so odd, the Millers, because Reverend Miller, he is an evangelical preacher. Dear Martha and Sue, have you ever suspected or been told that we took home the baby that belonged to Kay and Bob McDonald and they later took home the baby that belonged to us? Neither Sue nor Marty blames Mrs. Miller for going along with her husband. I asked my mother. I don't know how I would have survived. No, no, no. But the good part about that was when I got home from the wedding, and my brother called me, and he said, you know what? It was actually right after I met them. But I went along with it, because I don't like to make waves, I guess, you might say. Finally, on July 10, 1994, Norbert was willing to go to Kay and Bob McDonald's 50th wedding anniversary celebration at Prairie du Chien United Methodist Church. How are you going to think? And basically and this is going to sound like kind of. This is Sue reading a letter she got some time ago from her new found Miller sister Faith, though there are many, many good things about our family and parents and being raised by that family. Your mother said this. She and Faith and Mary Lydia, the older girls, had sort of always known about the possibility that Marti wasn't their biological sister. And I said, I don't know. Mrs. Miller and Kay McDonald were actually in different churches. When Sue got married, for instance, the Millers gave her a trivet Norbert had made. The next week, though, when Marti was visiting their mom, Mrs. Miller, she asked her about what Rudy had said. I'm gonna join the Buckner team. And that's where it might have ended if it hadn't been for Mrs. Miller's letter a decade later. Tact is in her strong suit. It was the night of December 7, 1962, and her rounded belly tightened with each contraction. They knew Reverend Miller. To get to the bathroom, you had to go under the bed and crawl. She told in her letter how she knew as soon as she got home and weighed the baby that the nurses had made a mistake. And this whole crop of people knew but never said anything to Kay McDonald. And whenever Marti comes to my hometown, she stays with my brother. And I felt excluded. What's the treatment? Dear Martha and Sue, have you ever suspected or been told that we took home the baby that belonged to Kay and Bob McDonald and they later took home the baby that belonged to us? He's a roustabout. I tried out for cheerleading. They had dogs and raised angora rabbits. The infants were accidentally switched, and went home with the wrong families. And when I think of my mother, I think of her. There's a large statue of an angel in her sitting room, which she's planning to put on her own grave. We love you, Martha Jane. That's how long it took her to sort out her feelings. And in the meantime, I had gotten phone calls from people I didn't even know that we're telling me, hey, I'm your brother. Switched at Birth. She heard it first from her own mom, who heard it at church. He went to Oregon to get away from a-- he got a girl in trouble, see? Another 2.5 million people download the weekly podcast. You know, I I honestly don't know how much they communicate, how much they're in touch. An original radio drama called "Kathleen on the Carpet," in which animals talk and hold their own "animal court." I I didn't want I would just like that thing because that would ruin our marriage, I would run it. The other mother, Kay McDonald, had no idea. I'm really a Miller. But at the same time, when she refers to Kay, she says, well, your mother is doing such and such or your mother said this. Mrs Miller told people in the evangelical church about her suspicions, friends of hers and people she hoped would keep an eye out on Sue. That's not how their family worked. And then she's going to say, well, I don't need that daughter anymore. Reverend Miller is affectionate with her, putting his arm around her waist. And now she wanted everyone's role to be clear. Her name is also Sue. It's pretty rare that Marti and Sue actually meet face to face. Another 2.5 million people download the weekly podcast. After they were born, she had written us a Christmas letter and said she'd always liked to keep in touch with Susan, because the girls were so much like sisters. It was the four women at the center of all this, the two moms and the two daughters, who were affected more than anyone. Is this your dad? I have much anguish and many tears. I'm IRA Glass back next week with more stories. And when you get this kind of news as an adult that your mom isn't really your mom or your daughter isn't really your daughter.