Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Take care Don. I dont care if you were tired of being the blunt, you took vows that said through sickness and in health. My lawyer was shocked too and worked hard at just getting the things my mom gave me. I understand its a problem, but I can not figure out a way to stop it Look at the research its madness what people are ending marriages for .The problem is you are supposed to be a team function as a team nothing else or anyone else matters . He calls this a seperation, but making me take all my things and move away, seems like he is just trying to spare my feelings, not asking for a divorce straight out. You did everything as a family, now where do you go and what do you do while the majority of your friends are out on their family days? Great resource for those hurting, and I mean real hurting. Finding that on Facebook is a huge red flag. What have I done! Moffa, now 76, had been married 52 years, and . I did it all. These tips may help you let go of the past, including someone who hurt you. I love her so much, and have always been devoted to her, never lied to her, never cheated, never been controlling or jealous etc. It sounds like the only way this will work is if you tell her what you want and deserve and if she cannot do that then get busy. Only now its for real. My issue is that once she wants to leave (imminent), he dosent reciprocate and then she comes back what do I do? Hey guys:) go to church! We drifted apart, the excitement, the compassion and love faded away to nothing. He often jokes about leaving his wife. Six months that I have been paying for my choice through reduced access to my most amazing children ever. SHARE this story on Facebook with your friends and family. Is he struggling with finances? I have to do some procedures for possible breast cancer and I need to get my insurance going. We have a son who is just under 2 and was born 10 weeks early. this is the ugliest experience i ever had, losing my wife after 16yrs of marriage having 3boyz nd 2galz we got married age 25 nd 21, but now am 41 shes 37. i started noticing long calls chats and messages together with her painful attitude of coming home very late. I dont know if he has fallen for her, if it is a mid life crisis or what. Knowing myself and how hard I have worked to be where I am in life, being raised in a lovely family, and overcoming another abusive relationships before I knew it was time for me to leave that relationship soon after our 6th anniversary. All that matters is that they make you feel good inside. When I first left the security of my nuclear family, my house, and my marriage the world initially seemed so shaky and unstable. I am not trying to portray myself as a prince but I have given this woman my everything,My heart my soul my compassion, my trust my loyalty,My everything.And she just shattered everything to pieces.She takes a lot of meds for her mental and Physical problems,and she is going through Menopause. I know that there are a lot of women that would be very hopeful in finding a guy like me.I cannot go through life alone.I have to have a partner to share life and love with.I dont know where to start to meet that special person.My heart is totally shattered,and Im still in shock.I prey that i will wake up some day and not care anymore.Sorry that i am so blind to whats going on.I guess i still believe that we can get back together.I know I am totally stupid to think that,But for now I cant help the way that I feel. Im not sure what exactly he was looking for, perhaps just being very emotionally transparent on an every day basis? after 45 years i gave into Separation in 2012, and he insisted on A Divorce and and started on in Sept 2012 which was bitter and financially. She tells me that that even though her and I have a fabulous connection and relationship, she still is lonely for her family. Let them go find their happiness now, it sounds like its time or rather soon. She told me she left me for four of the reasons you mentioned. My doctors didnt know how to help me. I caught her in an affair with a coworker and then found out she slept with my friend in my own home while I was asleep. I think he is waiting to see about this house he is looking at. Then evil sets in. Read more inspiring stories of single moms: At 7 months pregnant, I found messages online to a dozen women, telling them he hated me, wished I was dead. When I left my mairriage of 8 years and finally divorce after 14 years I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I will never go back to my ex husband. She has recently gone for hikes with her husband, meets him at the gym for game of squash, goes to theatre shows with him and their girls. I dont know who to treat him. I begged, texted, emailed.all in the hopes hed realize the mistake me made and come back. With them for years but I lost everything I had and he didnt even wait at least to help me. Please u did not say anything concerning my case, am in Cameroon, and we have less of such facilities like therapist on psychological or marital issues. She is 49 and lives abroad and never married. And moved in with one of our daughters (the mother of our grand babies) he stayed six weeks before her husband couldnt take it any more. Theyre also communities where you can help other members solve their problems. We have some communication issues to work on (as well as emotional maturity on my partner's side), but otherwise it's functional and I'm mostly happy . College educated with jobs. Didnt call, nor would he discuss our situation in email. Same situation, married 18 years, 2 girls.not sure if she had somebody else, but I have a feeling,,,wont talk to me at all. My wife left me in October after 6 years Im dealing with my in-laws involved the failure of our marriage has been all shifted on me my wife has changed her cell all kinds of madness, I try to get it out as much as I can its tuff I have the bills kids everything to deal with, How lucky ur wife is to be much loved by youi wish i am that person..:(, My husband had never showed me love from the very begginning. Sleeping in the spare room shows separation and guilt. Im going to my parents for thanksgiving, but have a rocky relationship with them as it is, so this should be fun. In addition, not dealing with your feelings of abandonment can create dysfunction such as anxiety and jealousy in future relationships.. They may have unmet . He is ultimately holding you hostage to his lack of emotional control. He has gone to his friends to see if we can make it work. This is my second marriage and the pain is horrific.. Youre alright My husband for 8 months blame everuthing in our marriage even though I was faithful every single deployment and training. WHY??? Dear Kelly, If you think consulting with a mental health professional might help you, please use our directory to find a good fit. Then 2017 came and both of the kids are on their own, and I decided to try and retire, and my wife and I committed to working on the intimacy / sex issue again and we even planned a vacation for August which we took and was the first for us together in over 20 years. You will get all the blame and even find yourself thinking maybe it WAS your fault ! She later asked me to move out the house to give her space as she could move in and she kept saying I was impossible to live with (yet managed for 5 years previously). I totally agree, people shouldnt feel like they can just leave if the spark is not there anymore. I was paralyzed, I couldnt stop thing about her about us about him about our kids about the hell they were living in. That lasted for 6 months and she then moved to her own apartment, the entire time stating that she didnt know what she wanted. When he returned he agreed to go to marriage counseling. He rarely asked me about my day and never remembered anything I told him. Now all I want is bed and tears. She has developed feelings for a woman she works with and cannot walk away from her. Thanks for your input. All 3 girls are Daddys girls. I lost 11 lbs in less than 2 weeks. *they feel smothered Ive been there and now Im free from his affairs. But I always get the brunt of their problems I am the one that is mean and I was always the one to buy them all their desires. This is unacceptable behavior from your husband. I dont know what to do. So I do understand what I am going through and why. No, Im not saying that you need to forget all that happened. Hi Kelly, how are you doing these days? He is totally messed up in the head and most of the stuff he says contradicts itself one day to the next. I am on the fence with how I feel and how much more I want to put up with. I should acknowledge I don't know the details. I felt like my world was ending and their was nothing I can do to cope with the harsh reality of what just occurred. . Ill never ever love again. 10 year rule as a military spouse. This is the second time I have been dumped under the same situations. Its just so odd. I do not try to figure out why as it only makes me sad. I agree with you 100%, but how do you hang in there and try to fix things when only one of you is mature enough to realize that love is a choice, and that if you can get through the rough patch, things will get better? He probably misses the way things used to be. 1. Hi Andy Read some of what I wrote I was married for 21 YEARS and mine did the same thing. Im sure they wouldnt like knowing she abandoned her kids. . then he comes back home and is a great husband for another four months then next thing u know he leaves again . My grandmother raised 3 girls on her own as a widower at just 42. I stopped 2 suicide attempts, had to commit her to hospitals until she got out of her dark spots. I hope youre doing OK. Did you ever get a reason? Youre young. I started this relationship and had a son at age 19 years.. Here are 14 tips for women who still love their husbands, even though they left them: Life without your husband is a blessing. Their best advice was for me to just get pregnant., My husband left me after going into a depression. I have spoke with him hundreds of times about sticking together when problems would arise with the girls. Coming back from an affair is possible, but most often the trust is severed and cannot be recovered. Before he left, things were really rocky and we were fighting constantly, but we tried so hard to work things out. Then, the suggestion clearly doesnt apply. I was a stay Hm dad for 3 years and I think it caused the divorce. I love him but Im so angry at him for leaving us. To encourage these unstable people to follow their hearts and destroy what they built with someone just because they have unanswered issues within themselves is a societal disaster. Hang in there, Remember its not you at all, its him!!!! It doesnt take much, all it takes is a little time and effort to help you get through this hard time. While these may be the reasons someone gives for leaving a relationship, these do not address the real reasons why someone normally leaves a relationship. I wish I could meet one of these women in here going through all this pain and sweep them off their feet. I did everything I could to be a healthier partner. Please keep sharing your common senseok, so my wife of 25 years just abandoned me, posioned my boys (18 & 21) and took the dogand my (deceased) mothers piano. finally her mom gets ahold of her and she calls me and says I can pick up the girls now. And when I was called up to get her. Im living the same right now married 12 years and 2 kids 9 and 11 yrs old. Im so hurt right now I didnt know what I do wrong to deserve this..anyways as youve said people should move on it us very easy to say but when you are in situation is very hard. Really sucks actually knowing it was never a mistake or anything like that. You are dead to me as I am to you so lets not resurrect the dead. Every morning I wish I did not have to wake up because it is a torture for me to go through the day feeling pain. Thats her me time and its insulting I dare ask that. Im being civil about it becuase of my son but it hurts everytime I see him. He since has gone on to not talking to me for weeks at a time, saying he is thinking of leaving, driving around the countryside for 10 days by himself, not ringing me or the children for Christmas (I was staying at my parents on holidays), phoning me on holidays and saying he was selling everything and leaving me, not communicating for a week after dropping his bombshell of leaving, to now once Im back from holidays looking for a room to rent so he can have space.